Welcome to Americanada, buddy!
by TCBN
Summary: America and Canada are at war, once again. The children of South Park must, once again, save the day. What the bleeping hell did Terrance and Phillip do, THIS time? wait, was it Terrance and Phillip? Was it Cartman? was it Sheila? who the fuck knows! the kids get separated and must save the day! No one suspected someone would be behind the mess! NO GAY PAIRINGS
1. Chapter 1

"We are never taken seriously!" Abootman shouted

"That's because of our accent and our look" Ugly Bob said, "No one takes us seriously, even if you're threatening a nuclear attack, Buddy!"

"Why, that's a fantastic idea, guy" Abootman turned to the window that looked over the town, full of streets of angry people shooting, dying and screaming

"Why don't we not do that" Ugly Bob tried, "I mean, we could easily nuke the core audience of our entertainment industry, thus said, losing money, eh!"

"We need money" Abootman said to the window, "No matter at what cost"

"I don't think you realize but" Ugly Bob thought for a minute, "If you nuke America, you lose more money than you gain"

"I don't care! We need to spread our wings, eh! We lose some, we gain some!" Abootman fisted the air, "One day, Americaland will be Canadaland!"

"Isn't this place enough?" Ugly Bob retorted, fixing his paper bag, "I mean, surely you can't be serious, eh?"

"Why don't we talk this over a beer and a jar of syrup, eh?" Abootman turned around, "we have work to do"

"But" Ugly Bob said, "I'm too nice to stop you. But I'm too nice to let people die for your stupidity!"


	2. Chapter 2

Wendy lay on her bed, on her phone with her legs swirling in lazy circles.

"What are you thinkin' about?" she smiled, watching a snowflake that was missing a chunk out of it flutter and smear into her window, melting slowly into a wet mess.

"Nothing" the friend on the other end of the line replied, "Nothing at all"

Wendy snorted at this, rolling onto her back and throwing a snow boot off her foot, sending it into the air and slamming her in the face, showing Wendy how utterly bad at aiming she was. Suddenly, the friend on the line stopped breathing slightly into the speaker.

"Hello?" Wendy sat bolt upright, pressing the phone to her ear

Screaming, shouting and lots of cars squealing was all she heard, crashing and plenty of gunfire.

"Stan!" Wendy shouted, terrified

"Wendy!" someone shouted, throwing a massive rock at her window, "Wendy!"

Wendy looked outside the house, expecting one of her friends to wave or say a stupid joke.

"Get out of the house! Now!" the figure shouted

Wendy opened the window, letting snow hurtle into her room and send a biting chill down her spine.

"What's wrong?" Wendy shouted against the wind

"THERE'S A FUCKING RAID, YOU IDIOT!" the figure was frantic, jumping, arms pumping in the air. Wendy heard a sound she would never of thought would have come from something outside of a movie or a documentary.

"Are you—"

The large majestic house with a two story fountain up the road exploded, sending a car hurtling down the road, skidding.

000

Rachel stood up, after blacking out from flying debris.

"Now THIS" Kenny was running down the road, "Is fucked UP!"

"Where are you going, eh!?" Rachel called, petrified there were more _things_ falling from the sky.

"Jimbo's bomb shelter!" Kenny called

"How far away is it!?" Rachel shouted, bolting behind him

They ran down the street, Kenny occasionally would nearly skid on ice as he ran.

"That way!" Kenny shouted, pointing for the door of a shed

They entered the shed, Jimbo screamed in horror.

"They're coming right for us" Jimbo swiped a huge hunting gun over Rachel's head, knocking her out, again.

"Hey! That was one of our friends, you dick!" Kenny shouted

"But she's a Canadian!" Jimbo shouted

"That doesn't';t make a single atom of difference!" Kyle shouted from behind him

"It does!" Jimbo snapped

"It doesn't!" Kenny and Kyle shouted

"Bababababa" a voice said behind a milk carton

"And you better be careful, Ike's in here, too!" Kyle spat

"Sorry I forgot" Jimbo sat down

"Surely from the LAST war you'd know to differentiate people of one class!" Kyle shouted, only to be interrupted by two figures bound inside and shut the door in utter shock.

"I think Stan's hurt!" Wendy gasped, utterly distraught

"Oh thank god you're all okay!" Bebe sighed, watching Ike bound over to her, shout her name in absolute joy and hug her with his tiny arms

"Oh no!" Jimbo jumped up, "I forgot something"

"Jimbo, no!" Kyle cried, watching Jimbo leap out the door, shut the door behind him and suddenly get bombed by a blinding hail of shrapnel, dirt, broken buts of Jimbo and guts.

"AAHHHH!" Rachel sat up, eyes wide in absolute shock, "What was that!?"

"AHH! Canadian!" Bebe screamed, leaping up

Everyone gave her a dirty look, Ike included.

"Guys! There's a problem" Kyle sighed

"Durr" Kenny said in a monotone

"Kyle, is your mom angry at Terence and Phillip? Again?" Bebe stared

"N- no, she didn't seem to double take when she walked past me and Stan watching Terrence and Phillip last night!"


	3. Chapter 3

Cartman was running, panting heavily, and sweat showing under his armpits. Stan lay in the gutter, out cold, phone broken into smithereens next to him.

"Stan!" Cartman shook his friend, "STAN!"

Cartman lifted his head and saw a massive bruise on the side of his face.

"Oh that's gotta hurt, dude" Cartman muttered

"….oww" Stan groaned

"Don't freak out, but there's a large shard of glass in your eye" Cartman said

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!" Stan shrieked, wriggling on the ground in new found pain

"Okay okay, be quiet! The…. gunpeople others will see us!"

"I'm kidding!" Cartman snapped

"You're standing on my ARM!" Stam shrieked

"Oh- Sorry" Cartman leapt off Stan's arm and helped him up

"Oh god!" Stan leapt for the phone that was hopelessly broken at his feet

"Cry about your fancy phone later!" Cartman shoved Stan along as they ran, screaming for their lives.

00

"I don't know why they're firing at us!" Kyle shouted, "Bebe! Why are you so against Canada!"

"TH-the Canadians were shooting at me!" Bebe trembled

"Really- ugh" Kyle sat down on the floor

"Why sad? Why sad!" Ike demanded, grabbing for Kenny's foot that dangled off the crate that he was sitting on.

"Don't worry, Ike, you won't land up getting stuck in the attic this time" Kyle said mostly to himself than Ike

"Baba" Ike clasped his square hands, "Babababa!"

"Eh" Rachel huffed, "There wasn't any inkling of any war when I left Ottawa!"

"Stan's dead, I can tell!" Wendy started to cry, shoulders shaking

"Don't worry, Wends, I'm sure she's fine" Bebe tried to reassure her friend

"Look" Rachel stood up, only to duck from the window, fearing someone would see her head from outside.

"What?" Wendy looked up, eyes swollen and bloodshot

"We ALL have to stay down" Rachel said, "we don't know why we're fighting you but all I can say is that the Canadians are shooting at you and YOU'RE shooting at us!"

"You mean the soldiers representing the country" Kyle corrected

"Yes, I do" Rachel sighed, "Didn't you say this war happened before?"

"Y-yeah" Kyle looked at his feet, "My mom did it"

"Oh THAT was the war my dad went to" Rachel looked annoyed briefly, "and somehow came back alive without a _scratch_"

"Yeah, everyone was drafted to America to kill us all" Kyle shrugged, "because… of Terrence and Phillip!"

"Who is Terrence and Phillip?" Rachel blinked, ignoring Kenny's laughing

"Wait, YOU don't know who they are!? Of all people, YOU should know who they are! You're a Canadian!" Kenny laughed

"Stop ASSUMING stuff!" Rachel snapped

"Okay, everyone, calm down!" Kyle ordered, "We need to go to Canada and figure out what the fuck we are fighting for!"

"I'll go" Rachel said, standing up, dodging the open window, "Because I'm nice"

"Don't be funny!" Kenny stood up, "I'll go with you!"

"No, it will be dangerous" Rachel turned to Kenny, "You could get shot"

Kenny stared at her in disbelief, "Equal chances of getting shot here

"Kenny-" Rachel started

"What if I promise you I can't die" Kenny said

"I wanna see Terrance and Phillip!" Ike howled, kicking his feet

"You can't go, Ike!" everyone shouted in unison

Ike started to cry.

"Maybe after the war, Ike! Not now!" Kyle picked Ike up and hugged him

"What if he doesn't see the end! Wendy cried, "War kills people. Ike could one be one them. He'll be safer in his own country"

"Wendy!" Bebe shouted

"He should see his parents at least a second time. If he lives through it, hooray, if-"

Wendy's eyes widened in astonishment. Her head bent down as if she was praying. Then she collapsed. A bullet wound seeping out of her head.

"There's a baby in here!" Kyle shouted at the shattered window

"Step out of the shed, nice and slow!" a Canadian's voice shouted, "before we beat you up with the hocky stick!"

Rachel cleared her throat, "It's all under control, buddy! I have it under control!"

"There's a soldier in there?" someone outside asked

"Quick! In the vents!" Kyle hushed, yanking off an air vent and wriggling through

"Kenny, go!" Rachel shoved Kenny

"No!" Kenny shook his head, "No."

"You'll die!" Rached pleaded, "Please go!"

"IKE!" Kyle screamed, watching Ike wander over to the door, open it and reveal three soldiers with massive guns.

"Yaaay! Let's play Cops and Robbers!" Ike jeered

"Wha-" Rachel blinked

"Take care of the American, buddy!" The soldier shouted

Rachel floored Kenny, holding him down, secretly wishing that the soldiers weren't here and a baby wasn't inches away from a shotgun.

"Come with us!" the soldier ordered

slowly Rachel stood up, half yanking half helping Kenny up, as Kenny snatched the Canadian baby in his grasp, to make sure he didn't wander any further. They walked off.


	4. Chapter 4

"What the hell's going on?" Kyle shouted at a screaming person stuck under an upturned car

"Kill me!" the person shrieked

"Not if you describe to be precisely what this war is about!" Kyle shouted

Bebe sighed, annoyed next to Kyle

"They wont to take over America" the man screamed, flipping off the sky

"Who's they!" Bebe and Kyle shouted

"THEY!" the man pointed skywards, "Invaded America"

"WHO!" they shouted

"It's all a ploy" the man went completely limp

"Oh, fuck" Kyle swore

"So, what the fuck do we do?" Bebe shrieked

"We go to Canada!" Kyle jeered

00

"Americans have belittled us too far!" a very familiar voice shrieked on television in a shop window

"Aw crap, it's that person" Stan stared at the familiar Canadian

"We believe that we should take this matter to war!" Stephan Abootman jeered, "For MORE MONEY!"

"Aw, dude week!" Cartman whined

"So, before anyone does anything stupid!" Abootman went on, "friend! we have decided to take over America!"

"How Much money does this guy even need anyway?" Stan deadpanned

"Two of America's most iconic Canadians will be sacrificed yo prove a point!"

"Holy shit!" Stan shrieked, "Not again!"

"Hello!" the camera faced Stephan Abootman, head flopping rapidly as he spoke, "Vote 1! For Americanada!"

"Fuck, we have to stop him!" Stan shouted, "He's behind this mess!"

00

"WWAAAAHHHH!" Ike wailed, tears streaming down his cheeks

"Shut up!" Kenny covered Ike's mouth to stifle him

"Don't stifle the Canadian! " The soldier said, walking up to a fighter jet

"Where are we going!" Rachel shouted

"This is a war zone, children, you're going home!" The soldier lifted his square hands in joy

"No, you can't!" Rachel started

"Ah, I've always wanted to be shot in Canada" Kenny deadpanned

"Good, now get on that plane!" the soldier barked, "Buddy!"

"Okay, fine" they got onto the jet

After a while of staring in absolute terror at each other over the quiet whimpering of a toddler, Kenny cleared this throat. They were sitting in a cargo room, separate from the pilot flying the plane.

"We're screwed" Kenny whispered, "I'm goungt o be taken hostage and-"

"No, we're not!" Rachel whispered, pointing at a set of parachutes

"Oh" Kenny blinked, "How convenient"

"Before we escape" Rachel hushed, "We should probably ask why we're under attack"

"Who? The Americans or the Canadians?" Kenny asked

"Both" Rachel shrugged

"who started this!" Kenny shouted

"We're fighting for" the pilot shouted, "stuff"

"Wait- what?" they all blinked

As they slid on the parachutes, they opened the door off the jet, getting suctioned out into the air.


	5. Chapter 5

At the Canadian airport, everyone saw each other, sighs of relief went through the air.

"Oh you're alive!" Bebe blinked, staring at Stan, ignoring Cartman's eye roll

"Uh, I think we know who did it" Kyle said, "Started this whole thing. Stephan Abootman"

"Crap, If only I had the V chip in my brain I'd have this entire thing sorted in no time" Cartman shrugged

"Well, we should probably go" Kyle started walking, "Sort this out all over again"

000

_Meanwhile, in another part of Canada_

"Dude, they're going to kill Terrence and Phillip!" Rachel shouted, "Guy!"

"Oh crap!" Kenny shouted in horror, "Why?"

Rachel showed Kenny a newspaper article they found on the road.

"NNNoooo!" Ike shouted, jumping around

"Hold on" Kenny dialed Kyle's phone

_"Dude! Abootman wants to kill America, I think!" _Kyle shouted over the line

"Well, what do we do? Terrence and Phillip are going to get executed!" Kenny shouted

_"I think we should go stop Abootman and you save Terrence and Phillip!"_ Kyle shouted over the line


	6. REVISED

_BEFOFE THE WAR STARTED_

Bob knocked on the door of the Terrance and Phillip household. Opening the door appeared Terrance.

"What do you want, Ugly Bob?" Terrance asked

"Really, you should move houses, otherwise the public will think you're weird" Bob said

"That's not very nice" Terrance remarked, "Buddy"

"Well, you've been calling me ugly for the last quarter of my life, so why can't I have a go at you for once, eh?" Bob retorted

Terrance stared back at him, "You're hideously ugly! eh!"

"I think you've been telling me that every single day I visit" Bob snapped

"I just like reminding you, buddy!" Terrance laughed

"I thought Canadians were nice!" Bob spat, "You aren't very nice!"

"I am!" Terrance retorted, "I am so nice that I am offering you a new paper bag!"

"Why, that is _very_ nice of you, Terrance!" Bob placed the paper bag over the top of his current bag, "Friend!"

"Are you being sarcastic?" Terrance blinked

Phillip entered the room of the Terrance and Phillip residence.

"What is Bob doing here, guy?" Phillip asked

"I came to say that… Abootman isn't very nice" Bob said, "Nor are you"

"You WORK for Abootman!" Phillip snapped

"I didn't know he was not nice!" Bob said

"Bob" Terrance sighed, "I've got bad news for you. Ever since you moved to the USA, you've started generalizing Canadians!"

Ugly Bob blinked; paper bag rusting as he moved, "What are you getting at, friend?"

"Not all Canadians are nice" Terrance said, "Phillip and I had a falling out a few years ago and I got terribly fat! Abootman screwed Canada with it's economy, Saddam is the definition of _evil_"

"And they're all CANADIAN!" Phillip shouted, "ABOOTMAN is _evil_! Friend!"

"Why did you come here?" Terrance asked, "eh?"

"Guys" Bob cleared his throat, whispering "Abootman and his men are waiting downstairs in the truck. If I go downstairs alone without you, they will kill me. I need you to come downstairs and get into a large black truck"

"Oh no!" Terrance gasped

"But don't worry, I have a plan" Bob whispered, "Me and Terrance are going to switch places"

"We are?" Terrance blinked, "friend?"

"Yes" Bob nodded, "Terrance is going to lead us into the truck, with a paper bag over each head, me and Terrance in each other's clothes- to disguise that I am not Terrance. Now-"

"I am not wearing your UGLY clothes!" Terrance gasped

"Do you want to die!" Bob snapped, "Because I sure as fuck do not, buddy!"

"What will you do?" Phillip asked

"I am going to reveal my face to Abootman" Bob grinned

"And if that doesn't work?" Terrance asked

"Then you're jolly well fucked!" Bob said, "Lets go, friend!"

"You look as if you out a fire with a screwdriver! Except your ugliness seems to have improved now that I think about it!" Abootman snapped as he shoved the real Terrance aside, hustling Bob and Phillip into the truck.

"MOVE IT!" Abootman shouted swatting the truck that fled down the road

"Good job" Abootman said to Terrance in Bob's clothes, "You fooled those idiots to attend a skit and now all we need to do is fool the world, young man!"

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, sir" Terrance whispered, to hide his voice, "in advance"

"So long buddy! Eat my square shaped dust particles!" Abootman stormed down the road, looking as if he were king of the world.


	7. Chapter 7

_PRESENT DAY_

Rachel and Kenny clutching Ike, barreled into the office where a sign saying PRESIDENT'S ASSISTANT.

"I need to speak with-" rachel started

"Please! That disgusting smell must NOT be coming out of _my_ ass!" the man at the table clutched his nose in disgust, "eh!"

"Sorry, we haven't had access to nappies for a while" Kenny shrugged, holding Ike who stank like a sewer.

"My name is Bob" Terrance said, "What can I do for you? Sign you up for the army? Autogr- I mean-"

"Why are they going to kill Terrance and Phillip?" Kenny asked

"Oh my god that is Sir Ike! And he shat himself!" Terrance couldn't help but laugh

"No funny" Ike mumbled

"I _am_ Terrance" Terrance said, righting his packet on his head, "Canada's ugliest man is going to kill Abootman with his looks! He's pretending to be me, so he can kill Abootman"

"Wait, why do YOU want him dea- wait why is Abootman invading America!" Kenny stuttered

"Abootman is never satisfied I mean, Look! All of Canada is perfectly happy being in the center of America's land. Surely we are happy with it, it's that dick face that's not happy with it! HE wants to DRAFT all of the Canadians into America and F-"

someone came in, causing Terrance to sit straight in his chair.

"Abootman wants to speak with you, Mr Ugly"

"Really, I think Bob is fine" Terrance whispered to hide his voice, "Thank you"

"Speaking?" Terrance grunted, "tell me again, why do you want the famous duo dead?"

"_Because they are terrible people who do nothing but shit on eachother and stick their fingers up each other's anuses! Really, Bob! I would've thought! After all their name calling and giving you a paper bag to hide your DISGUSTING features, you'd hate them TOO! Really! This has nothing to do with invading the USA! It's for the greater good!" _Abootman shouted, "_Buddy, if you could please make sure that no one tries to foil my plans to end their lives-"_ Terrence hung up on him, distraught

"We've been calling him names, putting him down and forcing him to wear a paper bag! And look at the sacrifice he made!"

"Hold on a minute" Kenny spoke up, "I have a feeling that Bob knew you would do this, come to your senses and save him or somehow him save you"

"I should've been _nicer_ to him!" Terrance huffed, farting a wet fart that made the room smell even worse.

"Only Canadians can suffocate people with their farts" Terrance sighed, yanking off the bag, revealing his true features as the famous Terrance everyone knew.

"Abootman wants to invade the USA and kill Terrance and Ohillip for personal gain" Kenny said to himself, "what an ass!"

"Oh no, buddy" Terrance snapped a finger, "we need to save Bob and Phillip!"

"And kill Abootman" Rachel said

"Wait!" Terrance shoved the paper bag on his head, "I am Ugly Bob, the ugliest man known to man according to you, guy!"

"To the arena!" Ike jeered loudly


	8. Chapter 8

They had entered the massive arena where three figures stood atop the stage. Surrounding the raised platform, were millions of people watching to see what they thought was Terrance and Phillip's great act.

"The Canadian populace doesn't know that he's secretly sending people into America to try and invade the USA" Terrance whispered, "So act natural, buddy"

"No dude. Someone wrote an article saying you guys were kidnapped!" Kenny said, "People are starting to catch on to what Abootman's doing!"

00

Cartman, Bebe, Stan and Kyle were sneaking into the office rooms when someone spotted them.

"Sorry, this is restricted-" the person paused for a minute, "AMERICANS!"

"Don't shoot!" Stan shouted, "Please!"

"Why not!" the man shouted, "if you're here! That means they're retaliating! After us! I swear! It was all Abootman's idea"

"Believe it or not, but we're on your side!" Stan said, barging through

"We'll get a car" Kyle and Bebe ran off, leaving Cartman and Stan to wander through the offices

00

_MEANWHILE IN THE USA_

"Really, Canada. If you're trying to not support your president for what is right, then you shouldn't do it. This is America, and your country is slap bang in the center of our country! So, if you want to protect us, You better start acting like someone who actually has the right of speech!" Obama was preaching like this, loudly, in front of the white house, in front of thousands of gunmen, "And we all know that you don't like Stephan Abootman. Nobody does"

"So. Why the fuck are we doing this, eh!?" Someone threw down their gun, along with pretty much every single person in the crowd.

"Now disperse!" Obama flung his hands over, "Go Home and don't invade my ass ever again! You lot are too nice for this!"

"Lady, send NASA to Canada, NOW!" Obama barked at a security guard nearby

00

"Please" Stephan Abootman watched Bob and Phillip squirm in their seats, "don't scream"

"You're a monster!" Phillip shrieked, "You have no idea how utterly corrupt you are, Stephen!"

"Mr Abootman!" Bob shook "I might be nice, but I'm too nice to let you get away with this!"

"Don't generalize Canadians!" Abootman shouted

Terrance and Bob looked at each other briefly. Terrance appeared in the doorway.

"I won't let you do this!" Terrence shouted "They may have belittled me, called me names but they are my friends!"

"It's true! You really are my friends!" the real Bon screamed

"Get out" Abootman snarled, pointing the gun at Bob, "Before I kill you, Buddy"

Terrance whitened as he backed out the door

"And you!" Abootman pointed the gun at Bob, "You're such a laugh! Now go up there and show them Canadians what you can do! For the last time! One last misstep, and I will shoot!"


	9. Chapter 9

"Where the hell is Phillip?" Abootman shouted, stomping onto the raised deck

"I told him to let me do the skit with you, rather than him" Bob said, "Now, stand over here, buddy"

"I'm not doing the skit with you!" Abootman roared

"It will be better, reaction wise" Ugly Bob said, "Besides, you have a gun, a large crowd of Canadians surrounding us and heaps of soldiers around the arena. What could I possibly do!"

"Fine, I'll do your stupid act" Abootman snarled

"Good, Buddy!" Bob smiled, "It's Canada, after all!"

"Americanada!" Abootman corrected

00

Phillip was balancing on a high beam with his hand on the curtains rope. All he had to do was drop the lever and look away. He watched Abootman stare at what he thought was Terrance quivering under a large brown paper bag with eyes cut out.

"Boom, assholes!" Phillip shrieked, yanking the rope down and leaping down to the raised platform, covering his eyes as he sailed, hearing Ugly Bob wrench off the bag from his head, following the sound of a stone wall cracking.

"YYAYAAAHHAAAHAAAAAAA!" Abootman gasped, covering his face, turning to stone.

Bob quickly put on his paper bag and bounded off the platform, waving to Terrance as he disappeared into stage set up, to yank up the ropes for the curtains.

000

The curtains flew upwards, revealing Terrance and Phillip standing in front of a statue of Stephan Abootman.

"Say Terrance?" Phillip looked at his companion

"Yes, Phillip?" Terrance nodded

"I believe we need a new president!" Phillip said

"Of course we do! How do we celebrate, Phillip?" Terrance kicked the statue to the ground, causing it to shatter.

"We do the Canadian fart!" Phillip jeered, throwing his arms in the air

Terrance grinned, letting rip a huge and painful sounding fart, causing the crowd to cackle with laughter.

"Why, that was awfully smelly!" Phillip waved the air, fanning the smell off

000

Everyone went to the carpark. Where Bebe and Kyle waited with a car.

"Is it me, or is it that the Canadians can handle themselves pretty well?" Kenny muttered

"They didn't need our help" Kyle shrugged, face screwing uo in horror as Kenny passed Ike over

"Ike stinks!" Kyle gagged

"Babababa!" Ike babbled

"I can't believe they don't need our help! I mean, we saved their asses last time!" Cartman whined

"And Wendy's dead" Stan mumbled

"Hell, Let's just go home" Bebe shrugged

"FREEZE! This is NOOSE!" a man in an army helicopter shouted

"What do you want?" Stan shouted skywards

"We've come to assassinate the president!" the man shouted

"They already did that!" everyone shouted, "Canada did it!"

"Hooray!" the man in the helicopter wooped, only to blink in absolute amazement.

"Ding Dog, the president is dead!" A Canadian leapt in front of the children

"Oh not another song!" Cartman groaned

"Ding Dong, Canada is free!" another person started to sing, "and it's all thanks to Mr. Ugly!"

"Bob will suffice!" shouted Bob's annoyed voice from away

"Mr. Bob the ugly!" everyone streamed out of the Arena, cartwheeling, skipping dancing and climbing streetlights in absolute joy.

"Canada freeee!" Ike drawled, hands wheeling in the air

"Welcome to Canada!" Bob smiled, appearing in front of the children, passing Ike a nappy, "And so long, fare well!"

"Stop singing!" Cartman snapped

"It's a Canadian tradition!" Bon cartwheeled away, into Scott who sighed in annoyance.

"Watch it, Buddy!" Scott snapped

"I am not your buddy, friend!" Bob said

"I am not your friend, guy!" Scott retorted, angry

"I am not your guy, buddy!" Bob shouted

"I am going to give you cancer with my mind!" Scott laughed

"You're a giant DICK Scott!" Bob shouted, "But I'm too nice to pull my paper bag off my head and turn you to stone!"

"Don't generalize Canadians!" Scott laughed

"Let's get out of here!" the five children plus Ike bounded for the army jet, to be flown home.

"Well, kids" the pilot said, "I'm sure glad about the war being over"

00

Bob knocked on Terrance and Phillip's door, head down. Terrance opened the door, letting him inside.

"Thank you for saving us, Buddy!" Terrance said, sitting next to Phillip on the couch.

"Not a problem" Bob shrugged, "Now, I don't have a job, friend!"

"Well, you can work for the next corrupt president and save our asses when need be!" Terrance jeered

"You'll be our guy, guy!" Phillip interjected

"That's sure great to hear!" Bob grinned

**THE END!**


End file.
